musings.
hms. life seems to have taken on a whole new perspective for me.
just finished reading the book wild swans. sighh. i wonder how people could ever survive living through communist china. just reading about it gives me the shivers. theres so much that i take for granted nowadays. and then theres also the flip side of life that i never thought was there. it kinda seems like an elusive and evasive sort of dream. something that i have finally witnessed and yet.. it strikes me so much so that i start to doubt its existence? its like i remember it all so clearly but at the same time.. its seems so random and surreal.
ahhhhhhhh! nevermind.
im just rambling along in a world of my own. i have got to wake up. *slaps self. hahahas.
nine tests next week.. im so dead. and the last test happens to be bio - five chapters. i dont knw wht im gng to do whn they test the whole syllabus. urghs! so wish me luck people. i have got to be more disciplined. and i shall, i shall...
stop THIEF!
hahahahahas. yesterday was traumatising. today was eventful. hehs.
yesterday ;
headed to church at about 730 in the morning cause there was the dgl planning mtg and all ministry heads were invited. so okayy. had breakfast.. which uncle mak provided. mmms, prata (: hahahahas. yeahh. and the planning mtg went on for like forever LA. frm 8 till like 145. eyes pop out. and cause like the previous few days i hadnt had sufficient sleep. i was like o.O abit like a zombie. agreeing to everything tht was said.
towards the end the kampung fair tht the CM held was gng on so it was like qte noisy. so distracting! especially whn the mtg was getting abit draggy. erpxz =x naughty me. ohwells. well we finished and joined the kampung fair for awhile. i must say its really very well done up. the youths shld learn a few tips frm the 'oldies'. hehs. yeahh. thn auntie lay hong, uncle sek wah, winnie, nico, jon and i sent mitchell out to potong pasir mrt and thn went off to pick hmsee so tht we cld go to jacksons for lunch.
i ate ba chor mee (: yums. hahas. jon treated me cause.. err. i lent my money to xiaoyunn on friday to buy earrings! yeahh. we went out to ps to get stuff for our PE project and ended up shopping for other stuff! mann. hahahas. but yeahh. lunch was good. thn we headed back to church.
there was no tuition. so i studied upstairs in the library. we got the keys frm the office and unlocked the library. well, i tries studying ss but it didnt really work so i converted to a maths~! grinn. meanwhile anna, gi and jon came up but they left later for band prac. ohh. and we met this girl called stefanie. frm pl. hehs.
thn we worked and worked. and decided to take a break. so we took our handphones and
locked up the door.
went downstairs and played the shooting game. ahahaa. hmsee is good! thn we skipped rope (: thn went downstairs for a lil of the band prac. thn.. we went back upstairs and studied some more. thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. whn hmsee was abt to leave. i realised my wallet was missing! at first i thought i misplaced it. but thn hmsee realised her wallet was gone too! grs. we concluded tht someone stole our wallets cause hmsee's was in her bag. and we were both sure tht it was in her bag. the thief dug through her bag to get her wallet.. like !!!!
i was very very upset. sighh. it was like the fourth time im losing my wallet. stolen or misplaced. bleahs. plus there were like all the letters frm my friends inside AND my photos. i broke down totally. the day was just baddd. thn i called my mum and told her abt it and she screamed at me over the phone. i was like holding it abt 5cm away frm my ear and she was still clear. everyone in the library heard. icks. i managed to cheer up though and pulled myself tgt for dinner with michelle, cherry and weihan. sorry han! i think i really ill-treated you =x
back at church auntie patricia was like i found your ezlink card in the first floor guys toilet garbage. and i was like yay. but thn she said it was bent ! i went like *pop*. sighh. anyway, i decided to commit to another 14 weeks of masterlife. i think its a good decision larh. helps me be committed to my QT. accountability. hear tht ppee? grinn.
today ;
went to church. found out tht uncle david goh had found my wallet in the first floor guys toilet. guess where? not in the garbage but in the TOILET BOWL. like ewwwwwwwwwwww. i was so so so disgusted whn i saw my wallet LA. its cloth. so it was like dripping. and everything inside was gone except my appointment cards. yarh. and the water was like yellowish. double icks. so grossed out. hmsee and i were like super pissed off. its like why is he so sadistic. he enjoys torturing us arhh. evilllllllll.
yeahh. i cried buckets again. and joined yf class with swollen red eyes =x sadness. thn i recovered and went for service. i went to tell dadie abt my wallet and started crying into him again! sighh. but he was really nice about it all. so yeahh. and he preached! hahahs. it was good dadie! boring at times but okay LA. good try. hehs. dont read off your paper so much nxt time k?
thn after svc.. hmsees wallet was found in the 2nd storey male toilet. also in a toilet bowl!! with all our stuff taken out of the wallet and also in the toilet bowl. like GLARES. i recovered frm the first shock. and now AGAIN. but this time i didnt break down. but hmsee was ROAR-ing. hehs.
we ate frist and thn went to hmsee's hse where we recovered our precious things tht we still wanted like our photos.hmsee's ezlink was intact but her phone card was broken and the guy tore my black and white photo! *stamps. mms. our wallets went through like ten over water baths, with loadds of soap powder and dettol! and now mine is soaking at home in anti-septicated water (:
i seriously dont think im gonna use my wallet anymore. its so disgusting whn i think abt ti floating in a toilet bowl. yeahh. and i really hope tht its not someone frm church. i dont believe tht any of the youth could have done such an evil thing. even if they were pranking they wldnt have gone so far. but someone must have placed our wallets in the toilet this morning cause they werent there last night whn auntie patricia cleaned the toilets. so yea..
ah wells. im gng to forget or try to. and forgive. its so difficult but i know i can. with His strength i will. yeahh. frm now on i will take more care of my stuff. thanks to everyone who was there to support me. im sorry i was so silly.
well, i gotta to go study. ta everyone!
crossroads
im really really confused.
ever so oft whn i think i have the trump, life plays me a fool.why?
i guess that yea its for us to remember to lean on Him. but dont you think its rather cruel. to dangle hope in front of someone. and then snatch it away?
urghs. but then again who am i to question Gods will right. His ways are infinitely higher than mine. and His will is always for the best. it is never ever to harm us. in fact its meant to give us hope.
so i shall cling on to that hope and press on. even though i dont really know where im going. goodness grievious me. bleahs.
ohwells. God has always been very good to me. besides all i have belongs to Him. if He wants to take it back then so be it. i probably dont deserve all i have now anyway.
perhaps gambling makes an ill fit ; me thinks juggling is more the glove.
